I feel like I’ve been looking at this blog all wrong. I thought every wednesday I needed a mind blowing post that would make people go wow and make my numbers go up. But I started this blog to include people on my journey through life, as a third culture kid, as a social worker. The things that go wrong and the things that go well. Just being open and vulnerable so that people can hopefully also learn something from my experiences hopefully. I was putting wayyyy too much pressure on myself for these posts and that causes me to get into a gap every time where I stop posting because nothing is good enough. I’m gonna be posting again, it may not be long posts or amazing all the time but it’s gonna be life.
Ruts are hard. I’m in a rut right now and they’re difficult to get out of. I figured I can’t be the only one struggling with this so I’m gonna write about it and share my take on how to get out of one. It feels like the past few weeks have just been downhill. Everytime something happens and I try to be positive about it but each time it just chips pieces away more and more. Now I’m at the point where I’m thinking enough! Because I can’t continue going on like this. I’m currently writing this from my sofa, having trouble dealing with the tension I feel inside me and getting up and doing something. It doesn’t help that the next earliest appointment with my therapist is December 30th, that’s a long wait to keep sitting with this.
So I’ve got all this tension, what am I supposed to do with it? MOVE. It’s gonna sound weird but hear me out. This tension HAS TO get out so I put on some music and I dance around my room. I jump up and down, swing my arms around and move my body. It’s not gonna literally solve my problems but it gives me some space to think and breathe again without this pressure on my chest that suffocates! Plus being active releases endorphins into your body which are ‘the happy hormone’ and can help you to feel more positive about whatever your going through.
Cleaning, people cleaning seriously it’s scientifically proven even that cleaning your surroundings helps for your head to feel more cleaned and organised as well. I literally started cleaning yesterday and got a revelation on what I wanna do with my life. I had been telling my mum just that morning how depressed I was becoming because I felt useless. I wasn’t doing something I loved, I wasn’t able to help people, mean something. I sat and did nothing and it made me feel like I wasn’t worth anything. Then that evening I had promised to help my mum clean the house because she wasn’t feeling well and all of a sudden I’m getting these realisations about who I am and what I want in life. Clean people clean.
Don’t be scared to say what you need or think. Don’t just let people walk over you and your boundaries because it’s ‘not worth the confrontation’ or you don’t want to upset anyone. You are worth the confrontation and if people are treating you like shit please just get up and leave cause you deserve better. You’re allowed to have demands/requirements on what you want with your life. It’s your life and in the end you have to live with the choices you make.