The past 9 months studying Social Work, I’ve been forced to learn a lot about myself. My manner of dealing with things, how my thought process works, and how I as a person am and function. These things are all good to learn, but they’re also difficult because you have a lot of refining in the fire to do. Recently I was able to give a name to something I had been struggling with for quite some time. However because I was never placed in surroundings where I had to out this and deal with it, it’s only come up now. Everyone differs in the way they embrace, show, feel, and deal with emotion. I for one feel it very intensely. I don’t know how or why but even the smallest things are intense for me, so when I love I love hard when I hurt I’m literally kicked in the gut and on the floor gasping for breath.
These emotions come quickly too, it doesn’t take long for me to love people and be willing to do all I can for them. And for long, I felt like I was the only one who felt thing this way. My friends would point out that I felt strongly about people quickly, and that I was dramatic and reacted too intensely. I didn’t know what to do with that, because fact of the matter for me were that things were felt intensely and meant a lot to me. I still have that, something that another person may get over and deal with in a week could take me a month with a lot more emotion.
I hadn’t expressed this to anyone until recently because I didn’t know how to make my thoughts and feelings into words, until I didn’t have to. I got a voice message from a good friend of mine in the same situation as me and without me having said anything she worded exactly how she felt. Exactly how I felt. I heard the message and felt a tear roll down, because I didn’t need to explain anything, she knew how I felt. I told her what was in my head and that I didn’t think I had anyone to share this with. She messaged back saying as tears were rolling down her face the same thing I had. There’s a quote by C.S. Lewis that says, “Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another ‘What! I thought I was the only one'”.
Together we talked about it, what it meant for us and what it did for us, and honestly just having someone to talk to about it already helped so much. I wasn’t the only one anymore, I was finally on the same frequency as someone else. They understood the depth of my love and the intensity of pain. Our entire friendship was serendipity, and I love that through all these random coincidences and accidents we ended up as practically sisters sharing this same struggle. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep my emotion at bay not being able to share it with someone, and at the breaking point I found someone to catch me. Quite honestly these things just prove to me more and more the existence of a loving God, because nothing happens without reason.
I’ll be honest and say it’s hard to always hold on to that, that nothing happens without God allowing it and having a plan with it. Of course it’s something happening right now but it seems to be the reoccuring lesson I need to learn in life. What I cling to is this: With everything that happens, God has a plan. There is good in everything and every situation, and lastly that we will never be left empty handed. Physically maybe yes, but we store up treasures in heaven not on earth, and we always have an all powerful God on our side so how empty handed are we really?
I decided to start doing a question of the week, because recently I’ve been spiralling in overthinking unable to stop and unable to come to an answer. So I’m going to ask you each week what was on my mind the most.
Question of the week: How do you train your mind, to be stronger than your emotions? I would love if you left a response below on this!